Brothers Goblin - Chapter 7

Chapter 6 - Swash Your Buckles

Chapter 7
Snatch N Grab

Blarney Schmee paced nervously about the deck as The Barnacle Tree slowly drifted closer to the shores of Sudak. This plan had to be pulled off just right. However risky, the payoff would be huge. "First Mate, front an center! Arrr!", Blarney barked. The first mate quickly ran over to the captain, and stood at attention. "We be kidnappin a woman in that thar house. Make sure ye get thu right house. Oh, an take thu new recruits with ye, so they can earn their land legs, ARRR!!!" The first mate saluted, did an about face, and began preparing his gear, while grumbling about having to take the goblins along.

After hearing the news, Frizzle studied his meager spell book furiously, determined to be prepared for anything. Frazzle sharpened his daggers, and checked himself in a mirror to make sure his eye patch was in the perfect spot. He just had to look piratey enough. Especially for his first official act of piracy. "C'mon, we be shovin off fer shore.", barked the first mate. Frizzle and Frazzle scrambled over to the small boat. As soon as they were all in, one of the deck hands lowered their small craft into the briny sea, and bellowed out a hardy, "ARRRR!", for luck. "Alright, man yer ore an get to it! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!", called the first mate as the goblins began to row. "Why we gotsta row?", Frazzle asked his brother. "Cause we new, now shut up an keep rowin' b'fore we gets in trouble again. I dun wana hafta swab deck no mores.", replied Frizzle. Before long, they floated up onto the beachhead. All three hopped out, pulled the boat up a bit, and secured it to a nearby rock with a length of rope. "Now, ye two go fetch thu girl, um gonna go have me a bit o' swil at thu tavern. Send fer me when ye get thu job done, arrr...", declared the first mate as he strolled towards the tavern.

Frizzle and Frazzle looked at each other, shrugged, then began walking towards the houses in Sudak. "So umm.. which house we go to?", asked Frazzle. "I dunnos, I thought you knew.", replied Frizzle. "Hmm... maybes we scout first, gota be lady in wun somewheres." "Oooh good ideas!" The goblins scurried over by a small with an open window. "Here, help me up ta look.", Frizzle ordered his brother. Frazzle carefully hoisted his brother up onto his shoulders. Frizzle slowly rose up, peering curiously through the opened window. His eyes widened as he saw a pale, scantily clad woman, smiling seductively at him. However, her skeletal arm was what gave him the most concern. "Why hello there handsome. Where have YOU been all my life?", she winked suggestively at him. YOINK! Suddenly, Frizzle was no longer standing upon Frazzle's shoulders. "Frizzle!?", Frazzle called out in a stern whisper. "Where you go?" However, Frazzle was too busy with problems of his own to hear his brother. The pale lady had grabbed Frizzle, threw him upon the bed, pinning him beneath her. "GULP!" Frizzle began to sweat, as the lady smiled at him seductively, revealing sharp fangs. "W.. wut yous gunna do wif me?", Frizzle asked nervously. The lady smiled and replied, "Why, I just wana play for a little while. My, you look good enough to eat." Frizzle squirmed nervously. "You nots wana et me, I taste bad, an real skinny too. The pale lady just chuckled, and began to lower her teeth towards Frizzle's neck. Suddenly, the sounds of another goblin could be heard. "Yahooiiieee!", cried Frazzle as he used a nearby stick to pole vault himself through the window. He summer salted through the air, hitting the lady hard, sending her rolling off the bed and onto the floor. Frazzle looked over at her, then at his brother. "Hey why yous get woman an I don't?" Frizzle jumped up, grabbed his brothers hand, and began pulling him in a hard run off the bed and through the house. "You haves her if ya wants. She undead. Lets get outa here." Quickly, they ran out of the house, down an alley, and into another house where they both crashed into another goblin. All three went rolling backwards, dazed and confused.

The third goblin sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Frizzle? Frazzle? Wut you two doin 'ere?", he asked. Frizzle and Frazzle looked at each other, then at the third goblin. "Oracle Slazzle?", they brothers asked with a bewildered look. Slazzle nodded. "This my home now. You come ta visit?", Slazzle asked with a sad look upon his face. "Umm... yea. We come ta visit.", Frazzle replied. Suddenly, something that looked like a giant goblin with a scrunched up nose lumbered by in a quick toddle. Another one soon followed, both giggling. "Ahh! Moster! Wut that!?", cried Frazzle. Slazzle and Frizzle both smacked him in the back of the head. "Those my kids stoopid!", Slazzle scolded. "Yous fault um here! I should zap both yous!" "Wows, they really are ugly...", Frazzle whispered to his brother. Suddenly, the ground began to shake as a large, half-orc woman lumbered into the living room. "Wut this? More lucky leprechauns? Maybe I keep too!", the lady chuckled. Thinking quickly, Frizzle stepped forward and spoke. "We his friend. He important to us, an we need hims to defend leprechaun king. He fierce warrior, an we needs him for big fight. We brings back when war over okies?" The half-orc's eyes lit up. "My honey wumpus big warrior! Never tolds me that. Go save your peoples. I stay and watch kids. Special treat when yous come home alive.", she declared as she winked suggestively at Slazzle. Slazzle just grimaced, and nodded. "Goodbye dearest, I be back soon." Slazzle grabbed Frizzle and Frazzle's hands, and dragged them out the door before they could start laughing and teasing him.

In a dark alley, Frizzle and Frizzle informed Slazzle of their latest adventures. "You two, pirates?! Hahahahah!", Slazzle giggled. "Yea yea laugh, but if you want outa here, yous gota be pirate too.", declared Frazzle, handing Slazzle a spare eyepatch. Slazzle slid it upon his head, over his eye, and cried out, "Arrr! Hahahaha!" "Umm... needs work..", commented Frizzle. "Now, we gotsta go kidnap sum lady an go back to boat.", Frazzle informed him. "I know where a lady is. This way." Slazzle took them both to a small hovel. "On three. Wun, two, three!", they cried out as they burst through the door. Two startled women were sitting at a table, playing cards. "I gets um! Fortonu.. Fordiguma!", chanted Frizzle. Magics flashed forth from his little green hands but had no apparent effect... or so they thought. "You big dummy, fizzled again!", scolded Frazzle. Suddenly, one woman stood up. "What's this, intruders near, oh dear oh dear." The second woman gave her a confused look and asked, "Are ye daft, why must you rhyme, this is no time for laughs, they are committing a serious crime!" Both women stopped and covered their mouths. Slazzle and Frazzle both gawked at Frizzle. "A rhyming spell?", they both asked dumbfoundedly. Frizzle just shrugged sheepishly and replied, "Was spose ta umm... bind ums wif ropes... heh.." Slazzle just rolled his eyes, chanted his spell, and ropes instantly bound both women. "Now which one we takes?", Frazzle asked. "Umm..., that one I guess...", Frizzle pointed. The three goblins stuffed a gag into the woman's mouth, and carried her horizontally out the door, towards their boat. Soon guards began chasing them. They ran towards the boat, with the bound and gagged woman high above their heads. The first mate stumbled drunkenly out of the tavern to see what the commotion was about. "Oh gods... they screwed up..hic..", he muttered as he stammered over to the boat. The four threw the woman into the boat, and quickly set out to seat. All four rowed as fast and as hard as they could.

Chapter 8 - Okeah's Anger